Happiness misunderstood.

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Do you ever wonder if you are truly happy? Do you wonder if you are living the good life? Us moms don’t have time to think about such notions very often. We are too busy making meals, keeping up with laundry, changing diapers and the like. But a lot of people out there start examining their own lives and start feeling like they have fallen short. I may not have time to sit around and mull my life over very often but I do know about those little twinges of discontent that creep up and peek around the corner every now and then. If only I had nicer furniture, nicer house, better spouse, less children, more children, more money, etc..

We received some junk mail from a bank this week.  It was begging us to do business with them. They had their begging disguised and all wrapped up in a nice little bundle of discontent. Their selling point?? Oddly enough, its debt.

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Excuse me?! Live the life I really want? I am thank you very much! I may not realize it sometimes, I may even get confused at how I got to where I am, but I know deep within my heart of hearts that this is the life I really do want.

We all have big dreams of what it will be like when we grow up. We all have these big plans of how we are going to live, who we’re going to live with, and how wonderful it will all be. Then all of a sudden I’m there. I’m where I used to dream to be. I had no idea how hard it would be. I had no idea what a selfish person I was. I had no idea of how different I would feel when I got here. But you know what, its still exactly where I want to be. Its wonderful in a different sort of way.

I do have the family I wished for, but I’ll tell you God allowed us to go through some nasty times to get us to where we are. We have our own place like I wished for, but it doesn’t look like a magazine cover like I thought it would. My furniture doesn’t match, the place could really use a coat of paint, and we don’t have time to mow the lawn as much as we should. I lived for the day when I would have children of my own, I just didn’t realize there would be times when they would throw up on me, disobey, or make me really really tired. And you already know that I never wished for a cow or chickens, but hey, our big dreams change as we go sometimes. :)

So thanks but no thanks bank. I’d rather have my God and what He has seen fit to put in our care than paying you back for things I can’t afford and can live without.

God is good, all the time.

Give me neither poverty nor riches- Feed me with the food allotted to me; Lest I be full and deny You, And say, “Who is the Lord?” Or lest I be poor and steal, And profane the name of my God.

But I must say, I am not opposed to winning the lottery some time. Oh, what I could accomplish with the winnings!! Its just hard to win when your hubby won’t let you buy a ticket. Oh well. We may never have matching furniture or a new coat of paint, but I’ll have my life. And its a good one.
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