What’s a girl to do?


It has taken long enough for me to get around to another post. You wouldn’t believe what a bad couple of days I’ve had. Just to give you an idea: my favourite big bowl smashed on the floor, my youngest didn’t make it to the bathroom (that just never happens… hardly), I broke a window in my front room, the dog messed in the house twice, I burnt hubby’s supper and filled the whole house with smoke, the cow has freaked out on me each morning trying to trample this farmer Jane, and beyond that, hubby figures that it must be my fault that ALL of his tomato plants died. I believe him. Seriously, its been a bad couple of days. Anyway, I think I can sit down and write post #5 now. I think.

I know what I’ve written, and am about to write, will not be popular. A couple of you will seriously consider it and study the Scriptures on your own to see if what I’m really saying is true. I love that. But a lot, if not most of you will disagree. Many of you will get annoyed, even angry with it all. There is nothing I can do about that.  Here it goes.

God created men & women with different roles. God created the family to function a certain way. The family is actually a mini church, a picture of what the body of Christ is to be. And from there the church is to be a picture of what the church’s relationship to Christ should be. Should be.  If the family is functioning in its God-ordained way then the church will follow suit because the women and men are already working within their roles they should be. If the church is functioning the way it was meant to be, it serves the family well, leading and teaching them, encouraging them to keep on in following God’s Word exactly as they should.

So what are women to do specifically? It’s not a hard question. It’s already been answered many times over in these past posts & within the Scriptures mentioned. I’m thinking that women just want the answers over and over and over again with lots and lots of proof before they make a move in that direction. Here is my explanation as plain as I think I can get.

Titus 2 tells women they are to make sure they are living holy lives before God ALL THE TIME. We are to be acting, dressing, eating, drinking, speaking, gesturing, living as if Christ were right there watching every single move we make… because… He is. Titus 2:3 “the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine,..”  Do all your actions, behaviour, and thoughts stand up to the holiness of the God who watching you 24/7?  I’ve been convicted of this very much through all this discussion. This verse deals with who we are as a person, our character. If that verse doesn’t describe you, why would you consider yourself a candidate in ‘ministering’ to others outside your home?

Titus 2 goes on to say that the older women are to be teachers of good things. What good things are they to teach?  The ministry that women have to women is to train them to love their husbands and children. They are to teach those  younger ladies how to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, to be obedient to their husbands,” That all seems really really clear to me.

If we don’t do this His way, we are just like those who “profess to know God, but in works they deny Him, being abominable, disobedient, and disqualified for every good work.”  Titus 1:16. In chapter 1, Titus is given the elders tasks and what to watch out for in the church and then told to make sure they are on track by doing what we read in Titus 2. Read it for yourself again, just for fun. :)  Within the church if you do not want to be disqualified, if you want to live a life pure before God, if you want your church to be one that follows God’s orders, than this is what happens:  Make sure you have elders in place running the church that are blameless and above reproach, godly men who can sift through all the deceivers & fables that are around and find the Truth and follow it. Titus is given a very practical guide to how the church needs to function right there in Chapter 2. Are we following it?

Women, are you loving your husband. Does he know he can count on you to be there helping him in his passions and work? Do you love him? I’m not saying our husbands are lovable people all the time, maybe you hate him, but you are commanded to love him anyway. God said. Are you in tune with your husbands desires, preferences, and doing all you can to make things as he would like them? I’m not. Conviction again.

Women, are you loving your children? Are you teaching them in the Deuteronomy way, as you sit, lie, stand, walk, in everything you do teaching God’s ways? Are they even with you?  Do you send them to public school? If you send them to an ungodly institution 7 hours a day, 5 days a week for years, don’t be surprised when they end up not living for the Lord when they leave home. Seriously, its the truth. If you already homeschool, are you loving them to Christ in every hour of your day, or is mom just a tired depressed woman who is trying to make it through the day. (Again, tremendous amount of conviction for me here.) Are they clothed and fed properly? Do you take the time to make them good meals, or are you a Kraft Dinner & frozen pizza type of mamma? If you only have time to feed them out of packages, what is the problem? Do they have clean clothes to wear? Are you taking time to teach them life’s lessons from God’s Word? Do you take their spiritual state seriously?  Are we raising obedient happy children? Are they respectful and teachable, or are they sullen, lazy, and talking back? Do you spend time with them or are children to be pushed aside while you visit your friends?  Do you know where they are and what they are doing at all times? Do theyknow they are part of a healthy family unit? If you do not love your children in this way, why do you think you should be out there ministering to someone elses?

Women, are you good house keepers? Is the laundry caught up or piled in different rooms? Have you dusted lately? Are dishes left in the sink to get done later? Is the family used to a neat and tidy, clean home? Is your home neat and tidy even with children around only because said children watch TV & movies and play video games more than they are active and productively creative or involved in family things (see previous paragraph again if you just don’t get it). Is your dooryard (I’m being very maritime-ish with that phrase) tidy and well kept? If not, why? These things are your/my job.  If you can’t seem to tend to the upkeep of your home in an orderly fashion, why do you think you should be out there doing something else?

Women, are you obedient to your husbands? If he told you to do something, would you do it? If he told you not to do something, would you stop? If you knew he preferred something, would you choose to please him instead of carrying on your way? That verse really means exactly what it says, do you do what your husband says? Do you even think of asking him permission before doing things? You are supposed to. Simple, not easy, I know.

If all these things aren’t in place in your life you shouldn’t be in a place teaching others anyway. Honestly I don’t know many women who qualify as a Titus 2 woman.  I think we’re all pretty messed up.

This all ties in with the church as well. I believe its obvious that when 1 Corinthians speaks of spiritual gifts it does not disagree with Titus 2. Women are part of the body of Christ and we have been given our ministry and it really does profit the whole body when we are in our rightful place doing what we were created to do. And reading the gifts over and over again myself I noticed that all the spiritual gifts given in 1 Corinthians 12 are things the men are in charge of anyway. Women are told to learn in silence and let her husband teach her at home, and the men are told how to run the church, how to lead their families, and how to lead the young men to do the same.

Here is the kicker. If we aren’t doing these things we are blaspheming the Word of God. Right there in Titus 2:5 it says that we do all these things so that God’s word will not be blasphemed. That’s plain and simple folks. Wouldn’t you rather do things right and bring glory to God?

If you get your life back on track according to God’s Word and still feel the need to minister to those outside of your family realm… start witnessing. Invite an unsaved lady over and tell her about Christ and her sin and need for a Saviour. That’s where God can really work. That is real ministry within its real context. We don’t start programs at church, invite our friends & their little ones, and call it ministry. At least we shouldn’t call it that. Getting involved in someones life and taking every opportunity to show them from God’s Word their need for a Saviour… that’s ministry.

That’s all I can write for now. If you made it to the end of this post you are either convicted, angry, or questioning if I’ve fallen off my rocker. Just read Scripture for yourself and ask the Lord to show you the Truth, and be ready… because He will.



3 responses »

  1. I just read that quickly while supper is on the stove…I want to read it again more carefully later but I would like to say that I am convicted. i also have questions for a later time…but i don’t think you are off your rocker completely :)

  2. I don’t think you are off your rocker at all! How did you get inside of my head????? How did you know that this is EXACTLY what the Lord has been dealing with me lately! Thank you so much for posting this Shannon! I am going to read this over and over agin, and let it soak in! That is, after I scrape myself off of the floor!

    As each day passes, I realize that I have made some terrible mistakes in my life as a mother and as a wife. Everything that you touched on is something that needs to be improved upon in my life. EVERYTHING you touched on! It is too easy to make excuses as to WHY we are not doing what we KNOW we are to do! My excuse ~ I was terribly sick about 10 years ago ~ so sick that it was very difficult to do anything. Since that time, I have had surgery to “fix” what was wrong, but I am still using that illness as an excuse as to WHy I cannot, or have not done what I was supposed to be doing! Because of my “excuse” I have a home that is in utter chaos. I have a home that is full of stress, I am raising children that do not know how to do much of anything, and when you do get them to do something, it is like I am being the most horrible parent alive! My home is not a “haven of rest” for my husband when he comes home after a long day/night at work. There are times when he has even admitted that he sometimes dreads coming home becasue of what is going to meet him at the door. This aught not to be!

    So thank you Shannon very much! You have put into words what the Lord has really been dealing with me about for quite a while! Now it is up to me to start fixing the mistakes I have made, while there is still time!!!

    ~ Kim L.

  3. I’m glad you touched on the spiritual gifts. All Scripture works together. Saying that I must be a “keeper at home” does not exclude me from having and using spiritual gifts. The more I understand and embrace God’s role for women, the more I see how I can use His gifts and serve Him where scripture says He has placed me.

    We’ve seen it in every book we’ve studied. We can do things God’s way and be part of the blessing, or we can do things our way and God will work around us and still do His will. But we miss out. Big time.

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